HRRP: Part 5

Alright folks, this is gonna cover a lot of ground tonight. No time to chat, let's go!

She Loves Me!

This is the first Homestar Runner "game" although that word may be pushing it. In the game you learn that, first, Homestar is thinking about Marzipan. He decides to pick a flower and see if she loves him or not. You are then asked to pick the petals off the flower and see if she loves him or not. It will always end with her loving him not. BUT WAIT! A new petal grows right after the last one is picked! AW, she loves him!

Game isn't the best term for this because you can't really do anything to change the outcome, but it is pretty much the first time that The Brothers Chaps have made something that was purely meant to be interactive. Also, this is the first time that we get to hear the name of Marzipan (you'll remember she first appeared in Marshmallow's Last Stand). In the end, the game isn't that fancy but in terms of overall significance, it's strong. I give it a B.

Kick the Can

This is actually 15 different toons all put together on one page. You play each one by clicking on a reel that sits on the floor around a projection screen. The toons all start the same, There's a title card introducing The Homestar Runner (Old-timey version) in a "cartoon" for kids. It then shows The Homestar Runner kicking a can forward, stopping, and then some weird ending. A few examples of endings: his head pops off, he kicks the can into his torso, his head falls back down upside down into his torso and ends with a new face and the caption "gosh!" Another ending has him kicking the can into his mouth and him spitting fire afterwards. To see them all go watch them.

This cartoon does a few interesting things, it creates the first variation of a main character, Old-Timey The Homestar Runner. It also really plays on the bizarre, surreal humor that will become the driving force in the website. Honsetly, there were some moments when I chuckled a little at the endings. All that was done without voice acting, purely visual. I think that this cartoon deserves the grade of A.

Main Pages 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, and 6

I'm gonna get these main pages out of the way all at once. Basically every main page is the same. It has a series of buttons going down the left side labelled, in order, "'toons," "games," "characters," "downloads," "store," and "email." When you mouse over any of these buttons Homestar says the word on the button and an animation related to the main page's theme plays.

Main page 1's theme is Homestar on the moon, it shows things such as a nuclear explosion on earth, an astronaut waving from his rocket, and constellations of Strong Bad and Marzipan.

Main page 2's theme is Homestar in the Alps, It features Homestar in lederhosen and has animations such as a man playing an Alphorn saying "Riiicolaaaa," an Eagle pulling a fish from a river, and a quick Christmas tree decoration.

Main page 3's theme is Homestar on the beach. Animations included are a steam boat going by, a monkey throwing coconuts, and the first appearance of the "Wear a bikini!" banner, pulled by an airplane.

Main page 4's theme is Homestar in a bowling alley. There's a bowler getting a strike, a bowler getting a split and then picking up the spare, and a bowling ball falling from the sky and making a hole in the lane.

Main page 5's theme is Homestar working in a diner. It features a hamburger flipping, Homestar's hat getting flipped around, and a diner working speaking illegibly while a plate of food is held up (Upon consulting the Hrwiki I have learned that the worker says "Quarter-cheese-plate-scattered-smothered-covered.").

Finally Main page 6's theme is Homestar in heaven. It features a harp, fighter jets, and Strong Bad walking on clouds and falling through them yelling "Holy Craaaaaap!"

The thing about the main pages is that they can be mildly humorous, but they aren't generally meant to be the main attraction. However, I did learn that if you time it right, on main page six you can make it look as if the devil is taking Strong Bad out of heaven. Anyway on that note, I give each page, respectively, grades of: C, C+, B, B, B-, B+.

That's all I'm going to do tonight, but tune back in tomorrow!

HRRP: Part 4

Hey everyone! Tonight we're doing another multiple content night! Let's begin!

Old Intro

This one's pretty simple. It starts with an image of Homestar, the first two sentences from the original book, ("Everyone loves the Homestar Runner. He is a terrific athlete.") appear on either side of him. There are fireworks, arrow, a zoom in on Homestar's eye and then an image of him looking out from a star with the H*R logo and Enter written underneath. You can click on the Logo and Homestar will say "Hello!"

Pretty bland stuff on this one. Not particularly funny, except for the page title (That's Mike going 'Beeoo!') and maybe the way Homestar says "Hello." However, we're early on and this is the very first intro page to the website. And good job to Mike for the Firework sounds. I give this a D+.

If I Ran the Camera

This one's . . . different. It doesn't actually have any Homestar Runner characters but it was a secret page on the site until 2003 when the Brothers Chaps removed it. Anyway, the toon is a flash slide show that tells the story of Astrid Renee, who is the niece of the Brothers Chaps, of what it would be like if she made movies. It's told in the style of Dr. Seuss books, mimicking his signature rhyming style, a few pieces of art, and made up place names. In the poem, Astrid hires her Grandpa Chapman to do basically everything in making the movie and remembers to thank him when she thanks the academy.

It definitely loses points for having no connection to Homestar, but it shows that the Brothers Chaps really started doing this kind of thing for fun. In a recent interview, Matt Chapman said that they just started using Flash to make stupid animations and they put them on the Internet for their friends and family to see. This is evidently one of those early pieces that they used to show their family. In any case, on pretty much the adorableness of it alone, I give it a B-.

The King of Town (Old Version)

This will be the last one tonight. I promise. Anyway, this one introduces us at first to, of all people, The King of Town!

The King of Town is apparently a good ruler who rules over Town very nicely. But alas! His sheep are missing and he fears a dragon has eaten them. He calls Homestar Runner and Pom Pom to help him find out where his sheep have gone. Homestar and Pom Pom question the King's servants: The Blacksmith, the Poopsmith, and the Chef. The Chef knows exactly what happened to the sheep!

Homestar and Pom Pom, using a magical chalkboard explain to the King that the sheep were not eaten by a dragon. This relieves the King, until he is told that the sheep were, in fact, eaten. The King is wondering who could have done such a thing and Homestar essentially tells the King that the sheep were inside him the whole time. . . literally. We all have a laugh!

This toon gives voice to The King of Town and establishes him as a glutton with a terrible memory of what exactly he's eaten. It also, oddly, makes Homestar quite intelligent, in terms of current Homestar. The joke is a little obvious but there are a few little funny moments, like the introduction and naming of the Poopsmith, and the magical chalkboard. All in all, a decent cartoon, but not the best. C.

Well, everyone, that's it for tonight, see you tomorrow!

HRRP: Part 3

So, here we are at part three of my new daily installment of my reviews and summations of as many Homestar Runner pieces of entertainment as possible. Today we're gonna make a big jump and review four cartoons, so let's get started with:

First Flash

So this cartoon, at 7 seconds long doesn't have much, just Pom Pom bouncing around. On the one hand, it has no story, no jokes, and doesn't introduce any characters, however, it is the beginning of The Brothers Chaps' foray into flash animation. For that point alone it avoids the F, but only barely. I give it a D.

NEXT!

Second Flash

This is the second flash cartoon the Brothers made and it's almost as bland as the first. It is simply Homestar, sans-hat, walking in a field in front of a teleset hiding behind a tree. Also at seven seconds long, it has no story, only movement. However, I found the TV behind the tree slightly humorous, so I give this a D+.

TO NUMBER THREE!

Pom Pom, Too

Now we're getting to the real stuff! So this cartoon starts with an image of a pill, although it apparently isn't a pill, it's the "Isle of Pom." This island is where the Poms live, one of which we have met before: Pom Pom.

We are informed that Pom Pom is the best Pom. And the cartoon then explains to us the reasons why he is the best. He loves his parents, he's patriotic, he feeds his dog every day, he treats his neighbors with respect and he doesn't play with matches. We then are informed that "we all love Pom-Pom, too."

This cartoon has a few more things going for it. First we get a little background on one of the characters, Pom Pom. We also get to hear the voice of a Pom Pom, which is little more than bubbling. The artwork isn't the best, in my opinion, but this is early, so I don't place too much emphasis on that. Anyway, considering this is the first story, I would like to call this the first cartoon. I would also like to give it a C.

AND THE FINAL ONE!!

Marshmallow's Last Stand

This one is the first full length cartoon and the first to use voice acting. We start with a disclaimer about the fact that the cartoon was taken off the site because the characters have changed so much since it was made.

The cartoon starts in a marshmallow shop called Marshmallow's Last Stand. Homestar and Pom Pom are seated and enjoying a couple of giant marshmallows. Homestar uses clever trickery to steal Pom Pom's marshmallow. Suddenly, to the sound of squeedly guitars, appears our protagonists, The Brothers Strong, Strong Mad and Strong Bad. Strong Bad says that they are the greatest tag team wrestlers in the world and Homestar is. . .unimpressed. Strong Bad challenges Homestar and Pom Pom to a tag-team match and Homestar says no. Finally an exasperated Strong Bad steals the star of of Homestar's shirt (presumably re-naming him Home). This gets under Home's skin and he and Pom Pom agree to the wrestling match.

At the arena we are treated to the obligatory introduction of the wrestlers. The match begins and Home and Strong Bad fight. Home kick Strong Bad down a few times after which Strong Bad tags in his enormous brother. Strong Mad simply grabs Home by the legs and knocks him around a bit, finally throwing him out of the ring. Pom Pom, in an effort to protect his friend, hops into the ring and right onto Strong Mad's fist. Strong Mad, wearing Pom Pom like a boxing glove, beats him on the ring a few times until Pom Pom falls down. Strong Mad then attempts to jump off the ropes onto Pom Pom but is bounced into space by Pom Pom's bounciness.

We come back to Home and Strong Bad in the ring. Home eventually knock Strong Bad out of the ring and Strong Bad reaches under the ring, pulling out a bomb. He jumps back in an throws the bomb down Home's throat, and punches him in the gut a few times. Suddenly, Home mentions that he ate too many marshmallows and turns an ugly green color. He pukes all over Strong Bad's face and the bomb comes back up, sticking to the side of Strong Bad's face. Strong Bad runs around the ring until his head explodes.

Home and Pom Pom are declared the winners and Home asks for his star back. Strong Bad rage-rips up the star. Home is pissed now! He does a flying kick to Strong Bad's exploded face and takes one of the stars flying above Strong Bad's head. THE END!

So this toon, although being a shadow of what is to come, brings a lot of good things together. First, as I stated before, this is the first cartoon to use voice acting, giving voices to two more characters, Homestar and Strong Bad. We also get to see the first appearance of a few more characters, namely, the King of Town, The Poopsmith, and Marzipan. This means that, of the twelve main characters, we have now seen at least an image of all but Homsar. Finally we can kind of see the beginning of the Easter egg trend, not that there's anything to click on, but if you pay enough attention you can see some goofy jokes, like the picture in the marshmallow stand, or the sign that The Poopsmith holds up. This cartoon is where we really start to see what the Brothers Chaps are capable of and what they are going to do. Although the characters and as fleshed out as they will be, in terms of a pilot episode, this is good. I give it a B+

So that's it for tonight, it's been a long one! Hopefully you'll be back tomorrow for part 4!

Homestar Runner Review Project: Day 2

So, last night, I started my Homestar Runner Review Project, which shall henceforth be called the HRRP. Anyway, in case you missed it, I reviewed the very first appearance of Homestar Runner in his original children's book. Tonight I bring you the second appearance and the first video, simply titled,

Super NES

The cartoon starts with a message that the following cartoon is "The first Homestar cartoon ever made." We are then treated to a series of images of Homestar doing various things such as playing baseball, moving around a wrestling ring with Strong Bad, and playing some type of sports game with Pom Pom. Over all of this is a song that will eventually become the music for the theme song video.

There really isn't much to say about this toon, it's short (less than a minute and a half), and doesn't have any storyline. It was apparently made by making a bunch of different animations on the Mario Paint game for the SNES. Fun fact though, it was made by The Brothers Chaps as a Christmas Present for their brother, Donnie.

This cartoon kind of introduces a few more characters, this is the first appearance of the entire Strong Family - Strong Bad, Strong Mad, and Strong Sad - although the latter two only exist for a few seconds. The cartoon shows the beginnings of the Brothers Chaps' animating skills, which would eventually be honed into the fluid, dynamic, flash cartoons that make up most of Homestarrunner.com. However, the cartoon wasn't very funny and had no storyline, for that I give it a D.

Y'know what, it's still early, maybe I should do another toon tonight? What do you guys think? Yes! Okay! Here we go, next on the list is:

Where My Hat Is At?

Here we have another book, so I'm sure we can expect a story out of this one.

This book starts similarly to the last one, with the same declaration of Homestar's adoring fan base and his athletic prowess, but things take a different turn as we continue. We learn that Homestar has lost his hat! And on the day of the Big Game, no less! What!? And this game has a strict uniform rule stating that a player must wear a hat? Whatever will the Homestar Runner do!?

Interspersed with a de-hatted Homestar asking the grammatically incorrect question, "Where my hat is at?" We learn that the hat is not under the couch, on the teleset, in the pool, cooking on the grill, in the postbox, or under the auto. After having exhausted every option he can think of Homestar starts asking his friends. But sadly, Pom-Pom, Coach Zee, and Bubs have no idea where this hat is. The Umpire informs Homestar (probably unnecessarily) that without his hat he can't play in the Big Game.

Homestar, depressed, resigns himself to the fact that he won't be able to show his athletic skills to all at the Big Game and goes home. Once home he decides he could go for "a few cold ones" and opens the refrige- I mean, icebox. As he opens the icebox, he feels that there is something strange. . . then he notices it! Right between the milk and the cold ones is that familiar blue hat! "There my hat is at!!" He exclaims!

Homestar grabs a few cold ones, dons his newly found hat, and runs to the Big Game. Luckily he appears to have arrived just in time to score the winning run! Hooray for Homestar! Coach Zee asks where the hat was and Homestar replies that it was between the milk and the cold ones. The End.

This heartwarming story of a lost hat being found does more than just make us remember to always check the fridge when we have lost something, it also introduced a few more characters: the minor character, The Umpire, and the two Main Characters, Coach Z(ee) and Bubs. Also, we see more of the type of humor that will be commonplace in the future. Grammatically incorrect phrases, alternate terms for things with simple names, and more of Homestar's naivety. This is a bit funnier than the stuff that we've seen so far, and I feel it has a little more significance to the future direction of the series. I give this book an A.

Alright, so that's two in one night! At this rate, I probably won't ever get through everything. Oh well, it's still fun right?

Anyway, if you agree with these grades, great! If you don't, tell me why! Thanks everybody!

The Glorious Return. . .

"Everybody loves the Homestar Runner. He is a terrific athlete."

These two simple sentences back in 1996 started a beautiful and weird series of the life and times of Homestar Runner and the other Residents of Free Country, U.S.A. Written by Mike Chapman and a friend named Craig Zobel, this book introduced us to the Homestar Runner universe. Some of the characters in this original book became fixtures in the H*R universe - Homestar, Pom Pom, Strong Bad, and The Cheat - While others would end up being generally forgotten. But, like watching the pilot episode of your favorite TV show after 4 seasons on air, you can still see where things started and look at how far you've come.

In honor of the fact that Brothers Mike and Matt Chapman have once again started updating homestarrunner.com, I've decided that, as long as I can remember to do it, I am going to go through as much of the body of work as I can. Not a small feat, considering the site updated nearly weekly for about nine years. However, I will do what I can to offer my own insights and thoughts about each item.

I plan on doing this in order, so that those who desire to read about this can perhaps follow along with me as we get to see the birth of such iconic characters as Trogdor, Stinkoman, Stiny, Teen Girl Squad, Limozeen, and so much more. We can observe the changes in the characters as Strong Bad moves from main antagonist to main feature. We can find the inside jokes and laugh at the self-referencing humor. And hopefully, we can just enjoy this strange world.

As I go through this, I plan on giving each piece a grade, between A and F. Admittedly, these grades are subjective and you may agree or disagree. I do plan on giving my reasons for each grade.

I may also provide little bits of information that I can gather from other sources. My source will primarily be one of the best wiki's I've ever seen, hrwiki.org. HRWiki has been an invaluable source in helping me to really appreciate Homestar Runner since I found it years ago, and I highly suggest that all of you check it out.

So, without further ado, here is my review of the Original Book:

The Homestar Runner Enters the Strongest Man in the World Contest

This is it, the beginning. Fittingly we are first shown the titular character, (The) Homestar Runner. To clarify, this is the being we usually refer to without the integral article "The" not the 1939 version which won't show up for a while. Or maybe it is the old version colorarizized? An odd thought, hm. . .

Anyway, we learn everything we need to know at this point about Homestar, namely a) everybody loves him, and b) he is a terrific athlete. Now, being a terrific athlete, his friend, Pom-Pom entices him to join a contest, surprisingly titled "The Strongest Man in the World Contest." Homestar agrees and the two train for days.

As the two are heading for the competition, they are stopped by another competitor, the villain of the story, Strong Bad, who informs them that they are not strong and that he is the "very strongest." This is truly the greatest trash talk in the history of the universe.

We are then introduced to the other contestants, three of which we won't see for quite some time and the three more that will become very active characters. All of the competitors are informed of the rules of the contest (which seems like something that should have been covered long before the contest, but whatever). Basically the contest involves holding up a pile of giant grapes as long as possible while more giant grapes are added to the pile by the Grape Fairie, a fairie that is inexplicably riding atop a giant bee.

All six athletes are bestowed twenty grapes to start, this proves to be too much for Mr. Bland and he is crushed by his grapes. Another grape is added to each pile and minor character number two, with a "SPLURT!" sound gets squished like a pancake. Señor is definitely not the strongest man in the world. And then, surprisingly, last year's winner, The Robot, shuts down and drops his grapes. We see a small yellow animal running away from the outlet the Robot was plugged into. Homestar is suspicious.

Another grape is added and Homestar notices Strong Bad getting some help from that little yellow thing. He declares his intentions to drop his grapes and uncover the cheat. He succeeds by pulling The Cheat out from under Strong Bad's grape pile and kicking him far away. Strong Bad is squished under his pile of grapes.

So who's left? Pom-Pom, obviously. He is the only character that is still holding up his grapes, and is therefore the winner! The final panel, however states that Pom-Pom shares his trophy with Homestar because "he could not have done it without The Homestar Runner's help."

Now, the review. To be fair, it wasn't very funny. It was surreal, for sure, but it didn't have many jokes. However, it did do a good job of giving us the names of the characters and some basic traits of theirs. For example, the fact that Homestar accidentally forfeits the contest to stop Strong Bad's cheating shows his impulsive nature and his inability to think very far ahead. We also see the beginning of Strong Bad and the Cheat's relationship, namely that of villain and lackey. Finally we see Pom-Pom, his ability to really not care about what everyone else is doing and getting the job done anyway. Due to the fact that this book is the beginning of the Homestar Runner body of work, I will grade leniently. I give it a B+.

So, feel free to read the original book, and tell me if you agree or not. And just so you know, this is only for fun, so no need to get into any fights with me about what I think.

Also, do you feel like I should make this feature part of this blog or should I create another blog specifically for my Homestar Runner Grading Project? Let me know!

Adding To My Brother's Blog, So That We Both Get Beat Up By The Angry Mob

So, about a week and a half ago my Brother posted to his blog on the topic of the recent "Ordain Women" Movement within the LDS Church. It is well thought out and much better than anything you'll read here so you should check it out here. In any case, certain recent events have led me to want to throw my own two cents in on the topic.

In case there are any who are not aware, I am a member of the LDS church. I'm not going to get into the major details but the members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints believe that The Church is headed by Jesus Christ with a President and Apostles acting in administrative capacities for the whole church. This President and the Apostles as well as various other leadership positions in the church require the use of the Priesthood, which, according to Lds.org is "The power and authority of God. . . Through [which], God created and governs the heavens and the earth, . . . [and] exalts his obedient children." Historically, within the church, this power has been given to men, and as such, the President, Apostles, and many leadership positions are filled by men.

The Ordain Women Movement seeks to do just what their name implies, persuade the church to allow Women to be ordained to the Priesthood. Recently, the leader of this organization, Kate Kelly was excommunicated for "conduct contrary to the laws and order of the church." In the letter she received from her Bishop in Virginia it stated that the problem was not asking questions but actively recruiting other members to her cause and undermining church leadership. The letter explains the actions that her leaders took to meet with her and help her with her concerns, and that she denied their counsel at every step.

Now, for the opinion part of this post, which has been building up in my mind since I heard both the initial news and the reactions from supporters and opponents of the Ordain Women movement. First of all, if you want to tell me that my opinion on the topic doesn't matter because I'm a man and I'm part of "the Patriarchy," that's fine. No one is forcing you to read this blog, you clicked on it and if you don't like what you read you are perfectly welcome to move on and find something else you like to read. Alright with that taken care of, let's move on.

The LDS church is a religious organization, nobody's going to doubt that. Religious organizations are allowed to have their own doctrine. For example, among the Doctrines of the LDS Church are that God the Father, Jesus Christ, and the Holy Ghost are all separate and distinct entities. Another is that all people will be resurrected and that, based on our own faithfulness, be placed into various degrees of heaven. The Church also believes that it is led by a Prophet who receives direct revelation from God on not just the affairs of the Church but on the world as a whole. Revelation is important in the Church because it is the basis on which things get done. It is how members are called to positions in the church of teachers, leaders, choristers, organists, and all the bits and cogs that make things work. Revelation also has distinct channels. Let me explain:

I imagine most of you have various electronic devices. Now when you need to plug those devices in, each device plugs into the wall in the same way, through the outlets. That's universal among all devices, however I'd bet that each of your devices has their own charger with an end specific for that device. My desktop power cord is much different than the power adapter for my laptop, and my phone charger would definitely not work to power either of those. Revelation is similar. The revelation comes from the same source, but it's endpoint depends on the person receiving it. The Prophet, as stated, can receive revelation for the church as a whole. A bishop can receive revelation for the congregation over which he presides. The president of the Relief Society can receive revelation to help those over which she is given stewardship, but not for the entire Stake. "How does this relate to Ordain Women?" You ask, because apparently you talk to internet articles. Simply put, the Ordain Women movement seeks to take the order of revelation out of the equation by either claiming revelation for the entire church, or by ignoring that the church policies may change but only because of revelation, not popular opinion.

The Church has never been run by popular opinion. There have been many stories in church history of members disagreeing with specific doctrines. An entire branch-off of the church was created because a few people decided that instead of Brigham Young being the next president of the church after Joseph Smith, that it should be Joseph Smith's son. These members stayed in Nauvoo while Brigham Young and the rest of the members trekked out West. The members that stayed behind may have been very devout and believed in all the doctrines that the Church taught, but they chose to ignore the revelation of the Lord to his Apostles. When the church discontinued polygamy in 1890, there were some members who chose to ignore the policy change and continue with plural marriage. These members ignored the revelation received by church leaders on a specific point and subsequently lost their membership.

Ordain Women is not much different. As far as it has been revealed, the Priesthood is to be held by men. This may change and it may not, the Lord has a history of changing who is allowed to hold the priesthood. But if there is a change, it will not come about because of members calling for it. God is a loving God, but a member of the church cannot believe in the doctrines of the church and seek to change God's ways. God has always chosen when the priesthood is on the earth and who holds it. It is his power and he decided who yields it. If the group that is allowed to use it changes, he will not tell a group of disgruntled members about that change. He will tell the Prophet, following the proper channels of revelation. The Presidents of the church have a history of being willing to change when the Lord tells them.

To the members who support Ordain Women, I understand where you may be coming from. I have no desire to tell you that your feelings are wrong. I do wish to let you know, however, that a church run by God is not going be moved by anybody but God.

Alright, bring on the angry mob. Michael, are you ready for them?

A new direction, perhaps.

So, I've noticed that two of my siblings also have blogs (if you are interested in reading them they are at http://meditativemormon.blogspot.com/ and http://livelaughlovethink.blogspot.com/ both updated on a non-regular basis), and every time I see my brother's I think, "Man, that kid has got his stuff together, he's got a definite topic that he follows." And then I'm embarrassed to update mine because I have, historically, had no direction. However, lately, events have caused me to come up with an idea for the direction of this blog. Let's discuss those events for a moment.

As you may know if you know me, I have been in the process of buying a house for the past couple of months. Due to a small snafu about a month ago, I have been living in one city and commuting an hour and fifteen minute to another for work. In any case, initially, when starting this new job I was hesitant because I would be working with people I didn't know. Luckily, there is a guy that works there who is right around my age and seems like a fairly cool guy. Don't get me wrong, he's fun to work with and I can relate with him on a number of topics, but there's one topic of conversation where I say nothing.

This topic I speak of is politics. Now, I don't talk to him about politics because I learned long ago that you do not talk politics with someone you disagree with if you want to continue being friendly with that person. So, because I disagree - sometimes quite strongly - with his viewpoints, I choose not to discuss them. However this leads to a fun time where he will rail on a specific point and I'll just be quiet and insert noncommittal "hems" and "haws," while inwardly I want to let the debater in me out. This usually ends with me taking a large portion of my drive yelling at the imaginary concept of my coworker.

This is where the blog comes in. Within the next few days I will not be having to take the long drive between work and home anymore, so how on earth am I going to vent my frustrations at my coworker? Simple, by throwing those frustrations to the internet and hoping that someone is interested in listening to what I say.

Now, a bit of a disclaimer: If you plan on continuing to read this blog it is important that you understand where I stand on a variety of issues, since I will probably talk about those and may or may not offend you in the process. So, here is my general political profile:

I am a self-labelled conservative-moderate libertarian. I personally believe that the national government should have very little power and that municipal and state governments should have the bulk of any power.

I am, on most fiscal issues, very conservative. I believe that the government needs to be very particular on what they spend and how much they spend. I feel that welfare programs have a place but they need to be better handled.

I am, on quite a few social issues, moderate to conservative. I am not for same-sex marriage simply because I feel like the government shouldn't dictate what is and isn't a marriage. I am pro-life.

I am a straight, white, male. If you feel like that alone disqualifies any opinion I have, leave this blog now, you aren't going to be happy.

I live (or at least will in the next couple of days) in the state of Utah. I am also LDS.

You will no doubt find that things I say disagree with you, please don't hate me for that. I hope that I will be able to explain the reasons I have the views I have as I discuss them so that you can understand where I come from. If you wish to comment, afford me the same courtesy, don't just say I'm wrong, give me some background to show why you believe I'm wrong.

Expect a new post soon, perhaps a rant about something my coworker said.